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Embarrassed dream

The dreamer had been thinking a lot about homosexuality and gay marriage at the time of the dream.

THE DREAM This dream is messy from my point of view. The ideas are in bits and pieces but the theme seems to be one of holding ground I have already taken. It took me back to old memories with a new twist.

There had been a big storm and I was surveying the apartment block where I had taken up lesser accommodation than I am used to. I was in the old apartment block my husband and I lived in soon after we first married some 35 years ago now.

My husband and son were in this dream. My distant uncle and his wife were in the dream along with people they knew in the business world. Deals were being made and shonky contracts were unmasked and challenged.

I did well out of the deals made and felt happy in the dream my fortunes seemed to be returning. I had a sense I would do well out of them in the future even though I was still poor then. The older matriarch's in my family and matriarch's among their connections were powerful women who quickly unmasked any treachery at hand.

Behind the walls were hidden corridor's and a woman was there handing out food to anyone who strayed there. She was a force to be reckoned with and had been feeding those who found they needed to flee into the secret passages for years when they challenged the status quo. Now I recognize her as myself - she is my hidden me who is mostly unknown and unrecognised as she is hidden behind the walls of the building.

When I met her in this dream she did not recognize me - she just fed me like she feeds everyone she encounters. I felt sadness for her but respect for her perseverance and commitment to her purpose. Many people are alive because of her work. They didn't starve to death as they may have when they wandered into these areas.

I have met her before in precious dreams. She often is exposed when I want to make decisions that confront the status quo in my life. That is what I want to do in my awake life at this time but there are strong forces against my desires. In this dream I was testing the ebb and flow of these forces.

My son was about 8 years old and in his pyjamas and had a minor part as an extra. He was matched with another boy who was staying over in the unit of my uncle I was visiting. My uncle had been explaining to me how the window construction had protected this building from the worst of the storm that took out most of the town. I could see they had only just held and needed repair to make them fit snugly again.

The dream has a lot of hazy bits where I only have snatches of detail I can recall. One of these snippets involves a car ride that was a bit on the wild side. I was not driving but being driven and had to go where I was going without much control over my destination.

In the final scene I was with my husband and we were alone confronting two unsavoury types who were not going to accept the agreements in place. They were prepared to do battle and take what we had even though what we had was fairly gained in the agreements.

I stood my ground and told the combatants I would fight with my husband if they took him on even though I was a woman. I was embarrassed that I was so ill suited to the type of battle I was facing. Regardless the dream closed with me putting my fists up in readiness for battle even though I looked a pushover and ridiculous as I was in a long white dress totally unsuited to battle.

BACKGROUND INFORMATION Between Christmas and New Year two family members of the next generation to me have announced their engagement. One wedding I want to attend and the other I don't. My husband is happy to miss both. We discussed this in the last few days.

The dream issues are about contracts that seem shonky and this seems to me an exploration of the soundness of these marriage proposals. The presence of the powerful matriarch's seems to confirm this for me as in our family the women are the most powerful when it comes to marriage proposals.

The clue for me is that in the closing scene I am dressed in a white dress that is totally unsuited to the fighting gear I need to deal with the foes my husband and I are facing.

In truth it may be that no one is really ready to face the foes that threaten us when we choose to get married. We recklessly agree to face the world together come what may when we say I do.

The car ride for me is my dream mind rehearsing and preparing me to confront the hair raising parts of taking the journey needed to attend both these weddings.

The me in this dream who feeds everyone is telling me this unconscious part of myself is likely to be engaged as I face this issue.

In this dream all the major psychosocial forces at play in my life are represented. Having written the dream down I can see them clearly as they play out in my life. In the awake and so called conscious world I can incorporate this self-awareness into the battle plan I devise as I confront this life issue together with my husband.

This is an example of how writing out my dreams helps me make decisions more consciously in the awake world so that my well being and the security of my assets are protected as much as they can be.

Dreaming is not an exact science but a very valuable tool in my arsenal as I face the uncertainties and treacheries of the life we all face in the awake world. I am very thankful for this dream - it has helped me manage my anxiety and that is always a good thing for me to do.

Posted at January 1, 2012, 14:07 by iceberg rose (Viewed times)

Iceberg rose (POSTED January 3, 2012, 18: 2: 08) I have had a few days to reflect on this dream and I know the most important part of it now. It is the confrontation between my husband and myself and the two unsavoury characters at the end.

The reason I was so embarrassed in the dream is the issue it was dealing with was homosexuality verses heterosexuality. Gay marriage in on the agenda where I live.

Over the Christmas season we have had a number of encounters with homosexuals and this has led to the topic of gay marriage. I even discussed and article I had read about Elton John and his husband and their adopted child.

The dream is showing me how our society is under a deluge or emotional and political storm coming from the homosexual lobby. Where I am in the dream the accommodation has been severely threatened and damaged by it but has withstood the storm at the end of the day.

The negotiations with the current authorities over the building led to me and my husband to finding shelter in a bare unfurnished room. Yet even that was being threatened by the two unsavoury men. There was no safe refuge from the threat we feel in the community we are a part of in the awake world.

I can now see these men are homosexual but my dream censors had blocked me from knowing that till now.

Knowing how strong my dream censors can be I wonder how many others in the awake world feel as threatened as I do. I wonder how many are unaware that is how they actually feel emotionally on this issue because emotions are just feelings and don't usually come with their own language.

Emotionally I was not willing to confront how threatened I feel by the homosexual lobby so my dream showed me the threat as two unsavoury men wanting our apartment (our marriage space)as that was all I could tolerate at the time.

In the days since this dream there has been more discussions on homosexuality and the issue of gay men raising children with the people we have been meeting. They have been very lively with very strong opinions put forward.

In one case an older homosexual man showed disdain for the younger homosexual community who were totally about marriage and unworried by HIV. This was a boring topic from his point of view as a HIV positive person.

Today as I was sharing this dream with my husband the penny finally dropped. I feel my life and lifestyle is being threatened by the homosexual lobbies push for recognition of same sex marriage. Now I know why I personally I disapprove of it and I feel totally ill equipped to fight this threat to me as a woman.

That is what this whole dream is about.

If you take time to see the big picture this dream reveals it will become clearer. The dream narrative can make an issue like this shareable in a totally unique way.

The dreams I have had in the last few days since this one have been messy and the story line confusing. The most vivid image I have is of examining the partition walls in the home I was in a finding they were thinner than they used to be. There was as face stuck in the wall shouting out instructions.

When I asked myself why the intuitive answer was "If only these walls could speak."

In dreams my walls can speak and in this one I was able to see the wall was stuck where it was but I am the dreamer and can move about it.

Today it is very clear to me we all have choices about the life we live and the human rights forces that currently prevail in our society to protect them. I have made my choice for heterosexual marriage and stand against homosexual marriage.

This dream is showing me making this choice actively even though I was not consciously aware I was. I feel unable to adequately defend myself against the threat it is to the life and society I choose to live in.

I don't want to see my grandchildren raised by homosexuals in truth. I believe my grandchildren will be part of a community where they will face the confusion of lots of parenting combinations. I feel very ill equipped to explain them as they are very confusing for me.

Am I homophobic? Yes. Children are born into a world where there is both men and women and they have to come to terms with a world where there are both men and women.

The homosexual life denies the reality of this truth and so I fear the walls of denial homosexuality creates.

See how this dream has moved mountains in my personal inner world even though they have absolutely no impact on the awake world I live in.

My dreaming mind has gone back to the swamp where new life was created. It may take it a while for it to create some more concise and clear dream narratives for me to enjoy and share.

But that's the nature of the dreaming mind eh.

Iceberg Rose

N (POSTED January 28, 2012, 20: 6: 03)
When you think about it, that's got to be the right answer.

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